There are so things I’d like to say this experience, but I’m trying to wrap things up) get out of here for the holidays. Thus, I want to make just one clear point: Sometimes when it makes perfect sense, you really lose. And sometimes when it makes no sense, you really win. And sometimes when it fits exactly or doesn’t fit at all, you actually tie.

Crystal clear?

No. Okay, well, here’s some advice for Louis V and other advertisers out there. Just because you make a cinematic ad (style and message), it doesn’t mean it’s right for the cinema (media). Furthermore, just because you think your target is “sophisticated and upscale,” it doesn’t make people at “more artsy theaters” the appropriate audience for your advertising. In fact, I’m really having trouble thinking of any theater or movie it would “work” for. Going to see a movie is social; it brings people (from diverse backgrounds) together for shared entertainment. (Not to sound like the speech given at every Oscars ceremony) Even someone who is compelled by the “journey” story (or even enjoys its music selection), is not going to do so in a crowd of strangers. Especially at this economically-difficult time, I can’t think of anyone who would self-identify as a fan of that brand.

I have been meaning to write this since seeing Slumdog Millionaire on Saturday night at the Angelika (highly recommended by the way) when after 4 indie previews were followed by the ad embedded above. It was met with an “Are you serious?” moment of silence, followed by a barrage of laughter and conversations (at least in rows near me) about the ridiculousness of LV’s communications. I can’t imagine the reaction would be any different elsewhere, so it’s crazy to think they’ve been running these since at least this May.

In fact, I would argue they actually disrupted my journey into a movie-going mindset (suspending disbelief, being open to being moved, etc.) with this unbelievably silly and self-important move.

Please tell me I’m not alone.

Advertising. While holiday parties are being canceled, scaled back, etc., it reminds me of all the other holiday parties I’ve been to in my 6 years in the biz. Every year some of the geezers (original MadMen) of the industry and even some of the old guys (30-40 year-old’s, that is) talk about parties past. The wild times without worries or inhibitions. The excess. The skinny dipping. The drugs.

No. I don’t want the drugs. But we didn’t get our good ‘ole days or our dot-com boom. People my age came in at the bust, enjoyed a few normal years, and now have to deal with this crazy recession.

So. Realize this: We don’t want to hear about your stinkin’ glory day holiday events. And realize what we’re thinking on the other days when you tell us to pay our dues: “Why? We’re already paying for the mess you’ve made.”

What we’d actually prefer to do is roll up our sleeves and get to solving the problem. What we don’t want to do is roll up our sleeves and do the bullshit work while you get to “take a stab” at solving it.

You taught us this top-down model. AAE to AD eventually. A good idea can come from anywhere in the creative department. You value our understanding of “the digital life” enough to hear our explanation of how we use social networks but not enough to put us in the room with the potential client, to whom you’re selling that understanding.

And not just in the ad industry. You taught my Banking friends that it’s normal to work 90 hours a week, be unhealthy but filthy rich. You taught the Asset Managers to manage relationships, you’ll take care of the investments. You taught my friends in Fashion to sell on shows, showrooms, and parties. You taught those working for Magazines and Newspapers to worry about content, not the medium/delivery mechanism. You taught new Teachers to stick to the curriculum and focus on preparing students for standardized tests if they want tenure. That this is just the way it is; that we should just deal with it. We fell in line and look what happened.

You taught us to respect our elders. We say, “Earn it.”

It’s time for new ways.

[This rant was inspired by this fantastic post by Charles Frith, a responsible "old" guy in advertising (which there are many others including Gen Gifted on right sidebar), who used the word "party" in the title of his post. My title inspired by this.]

Vegas may have been a little too much of a distraction for organizers and artists because from the very start, it can only be described as a trainwreck. (And even if that’s an unoriginal description, I promise you it’s accurate.) I will not spend time talking about the disappointment that was Britney’s performance. Watch it here – before lunch if you’re smart. It really should have been show-stopping.

She was followed up by an awkward Sarah Silverman, of whom I’m a huge fan and who may have been creating this uneasiness as a genius comic device – but other than a few sweet zingers (“if Amy Winehouse isn’t Jewish, someone should tell her face” and “isn’t it so cute how 50 Cent is still alive”) it was really an uncomfortable two minutes (feeling like 10).

Then other than a pretty ridiculous (in a good way) performance by Chris Brown, I don’t really know what happened. And I didn’t black out. The presenters seemed equally confused. Fergie wasn’t there to receive the Best Female award and Shilostache La Buff thought Ludacris was going to come up and accept it for her – which seems insane given the category even if he was responsible for the verse that was responsible for getting anyone to fork over 99 cents for Fergalicious.

Honestly, I really don’t know who won anything other than the guys with eye liner in the Friends and Enemies suite. Timbaland’s really the only dude who has his shit together, so maybe he should be called The Maestro. Peep the Twittering I did last night of some of the most noteworthy occurences. And note, none of them had to do with category winners. Of course, MTV “knows” that people tune in for the celebrity drama, fashion, lifestyle. But maybe it’s time to rethink that because even if setting Britney up for failure was the “buzz-building” idea all along, they may lose their audience (as well as artist support). (Though there’s no substitute for hearing JT say play more damn videos while on stage with The Hills girls.)

Kanye’s complaining of course that he didn’t win anything or get to perform on the main stage, but he really should be happy he didn’t have any part in the “main” production. The suite shows were the only source of originality and slightly interesting and lively musical excitement. Now I can focus my attention on a truely intelligent marketing scheme…Kanye vs. 50, and tomorrow’s release of both their albums. A rivalry which hopefully won’t get violent like this one, which I’m calling Rocklee 2.

P.S. Please call me back if know an hourly timeframe for Friday.

The real real questions are why do these people feel comfortable asking me that and why don’t I ask them right back? I guess the new response could be, “Not old enough to be asking you your age.” Or maybe, “Old enough not to be your son… unless of course you had some crazy high school years.” This would preempt the even worse, but thankfully very rare response to the question I haven’t asked, “I’m old enough to be your mother.” No, men don’t answer that. But yes, they do ask the question about 1/3 as often. Their response: The closed-mouth half-smile/smirk abbreviated-nod that says, “I remember that age. Life was good.” Then I open my computer and show them pictures of Rio, cornrows and co-ed flip cup.