As you might imagine, I was excited to see my friend Sarah doing the same for her Bachelorette finale party last week. Unfortunately I missed the ideal window to post because I was moving. However, I figure it’s relevant enough today given the Bachelor Pad premiere tonight. Without further ado, here’s “Runaway (from Ashley)”:

(Set to Kanye West’s “Runaway”)

And I rarely find, yeah, I rarely find this much wrong
But JP’s been puttin’ up wit’ her laugh just way too long
With her it’s so easy to find what Ben wouldn’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for the midriff,
Let’s have a toast for that forehead,
Let’s have a toast for the short skirts,
Every one of them that she wears
Let’s have a toast to the perfaaaaact
That never stops hurting my brain
Chris Harrison, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

She find warnings in her emails
Money sent a picture of that d*ck.
I don’t know what it is with females
But Ashley’s not too good with that sh*t.
See, she could have a West or a Mickey
And still be addicted to them Bentleys
And I just blame everything on her
At least you know there’s nothing she’s good at

See, I rarely find and I rarely find
Yeah, I rarely find this much wrong
But we’ve been puttin’ up with her face just way too long
This season’s so easy to find what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for the black mask,
Let’s have a toast for Ry’s hand hearts,
Let’s have a toast for the Ames fans,
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to Constantine
Who wouldn’t even take that room key
ABC, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

R-r-ru-ru-ru-run away
Run away from Ashley

Always been such a TV romantic,
I just love the faux sense of intimacy.
And I know this girl’s done damage,
’cause the screech in her voice is killing me,
I guess we’ve got another advantage
’cause we could blame Brad for everything.
And I don’t know how I’m a manage,
If one day Ashley’s back on the screen…
Oh, I haven’t cared in so long
We been puttin’ up with the insecurity just way too long
With her it’s so easy to find what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for that long hair,
Let’s have a toast for frontal rub-downs,
Let’s have a toast for Asian love spots,
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to the Bach Pad
That I really can’t wait for
Chris Harrison, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

Here’s the pillar spot, which incorporates athletes at least (and comments are split 50/50)…

And three others.

I’ve been meaning to post this video (below) for a couple of weeks now since Gonzalo Perez of Motivo Insights showed it at an ESPN off-site. It’s been online since May, so I’m already late to this party. But isn’t that the Latino way! (Don’t worry that’s not whitey speaking out of turn; he and another speaker confirmed this was not just a stereotype that day.) Anyway, Voto Latino teamed up with Declare Yourself to get young (18-29) Latinos involved in the voting process (first and foremost, by getting them to register to vote). This, one in a series of videos, is the result:

“La Pasion De La Decision” definitely seems to resonate with the members of this audience, who embrace their hybrid Hispanic-American lives. They no doubt feel a connection to Telenovelas (whether they grew up with them or through their parents/grandparents) but likely think they are just as over the top as their non-Hispanic counterparts/friends. The message doesn’t get lost in the spoof, IMO, and benefits greatly from the story being played by Wilmer Valderrama (of whom, I’m an unashamed supporter) and Rosario Dawson (of whom, I’m certainly not ashamed fan). Also check out episode 3, for a cameo by Craigslists’ Craig Newmark.

Te sigo amando.

Update 1: My buddy Jake just posted a link (on our xanga board) to one of the most hardcore pranks I’ve ever seen in real life. Perfect for this post.

Update 2: Just realized Aki posted yesterday…so I’m late (he’s too quick). But gotta show him love anyway since if it wasn’t for him I probably would have started blogging a lot later too.

It’s been a minute since I hit up this site for an image, so wanted to give some love.

Over one week later, peeps are still talking about Daft Punk, so I thought I’d hit you all off with the full version (it’s an MP3 file to download) of the Keyspan Park show and one of DP in Wisconsin in ‘96 sent over to me by Jimmy, who reports for Maxim and Blender.

Crazy Bruce’s Liquors has got nothing on Flea Market man – remember it’s just like a mini-mall. Nor can he compete with Crazy Eddie – the electronics store where the prices aren’t the only thing that’s insane.

The Japanese have a great video for potty training. We can also thank Tokyo (and Aki) for this Storm Trooper boogie.

Tracking studies are usually not this fun. Thrillist hit me off. Otherwise, you may want to go searching for the ladies – we know know these two were invited.

And finally, Tay Zonday is back and will apparently be opening for Girl Talk in Minneapolis on my bday (Oct. 5). Make sure you peep the John Mayer Remix he did for Best Week Ever and the Matt Damon nonsense with Jimmy Kimmel is quite funny as well.

Like last week another great but very different mashup: House Of 1,000 Muppets

May I present to you the AMI – St. Louis loves three things, baseball, beer, and b-mustaches. After all, it is “home to the world’s largest mustache, the SL Arch.” (Thanks Jake)

A pretty awesome music video starring some ex-Nickelodeon stars on Leland’s blog

A kind of sad story but appropriate ad placement for Shaq’s new reality show.

An regression for Dunkin Donuts SoBe drink. (I drink D&D too. I used to wear corduroy pants.) Check out the new Naomi Campbell spot directed by Zach Braff as well. From Hill Holiday.

Finally, Phillipines Prison Thriller. They do Sister Act as well.

Sexy-Ugly (adj.)
Someone who is not conventionally good-looking (or any kind of good-looking in some cases), but possesses an appealing personality, style, or talent, and is thus considered sexually attractive by many. -urbandictionary.com

This term was first dropped like it was hot in the movie Kissing Jessica Stein. Mick Jagger is her example. The flick chicks have a vote going with Edward Norton beating out Adrian Brody for the top spot.

Our equivalent may be a SJP (Sarah Jessica Parker) – if you don’t know that acronym, I can’t help you. But overall I don’t think sexy-ugly translates that well in our male vocabs. (No, not because we can’t grunt it.) Perhaps sexy-bitchy is more real. OMG, SMG is SB – Oh my god, Sarah Michelle Gellar is sexy bitchy. You’d say that – right Jay? Maybe we can all agree on sexy-rich – Oprah and Bill Gates?

So you may never hear it but if nothing else, dropping a Kissing Jessica Stein reference on your latest fling will offset the carpenter jeans you rocked on the last date. Good luck out there.

That’s all I’ve got. I’m an awful critic. If I really was one I’d use bad puns (see above) or quotes from other (and often unrelated) movies and shows to critique (i.e. I wish I had 4 hands so I could give that movie 4 thumbs up). Thus, rather than provide a plot summary, note on symbolism or a social commentary, I’ll stick to what caught me most – the beauty and serenity of the actual geography – and how it positively changed my perception of Wyoming. I remember wanting to hit up a ranch after City Slickers. Now I’m not just aware of Wyoming, but am compelled to put this type of travel (lake and mountain America) into my vacation consideration set. And it seems I’m not the only one… http://www.usatoday.com/travel/destinations/2006-01-30-brokeback-tourism_x.htm

Who cares if it was shot in Canada? I’m already sold on Wyoming. And just so you know The Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3 are being filmed in The Bahamas… at least one or two scenes.