El Gaffney

We’re All Weird Al: Bachelorette Edition

I love me some Weird Al. Always have. Waiting for that side 1 to side 2 transition on my “Even Worse” cassette tape. Classic. He’s inspired me to do some lyric customization of my own – mostly for welcomes, beefs or farewells back at Wieden.

As you might imagine, I was excited to see my friend Sarah doing the same for her Bachelorette finale party last week. Unfortunately I missed the ideal window to post because I was moving. However, I figure it’s relevant enough today given the Bachelor Pad premiere tonight. Without further ado, here’s “Runaway (from Ashley)”:

(Set to Kanye West’s “Runaway”)

And I rarely find, yeah, I rarely find this much wrong
But JP’s been puttin’ up wit’ her laugh just way too long
With her it’s so easy to find what Ben wouldn’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for the midriff,
Let’s have a toast for that forehead,
Let’s have a toast for the short skirts,
Every one of them that she wears
Let’s have a toast to the perfaaaaact
That never stops hurting my brain
Chris Harrison, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

She find warnings in her emails
Money sent a picture of that d*ck.
I don’t know what it is with females
But Ashley’s not too good with that sh*t.
See, she could have a West or a Mickey
And still be addicted to them Bentleys
And I just blame everything on her
At least you know there’s nothing she’s good at

See, I rarely find and I rarely find
Yeah, I rarely find this much wrong
But we’ve been puttin’ up with her face just way too long
This season’s so easy to find what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for the black mask,
Let’s have a toast for Ry’s hand hearts,
Let’s have a toast for the Ames fans,
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to Constantine
Who wouldn’t even take that room key
ABC, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

R-r-ru-ru-ru-run away
Run away from Ashley

Always been such a TV romantic,
I just love the faux sense of intimacy.
And I know this girl’s done damage,
’cause the screech in her voice is killing me,
I guess we’ve got another advantage
’cause we could blame Brad for everything.
And I don’t know how I’m a manage,
If one day Ashley’s back on the screen…
Oh, I haven’t cared in so long
We been puttin’ up with the insecurity just way too long
With her it’s so easy to find what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for that long hair,
Let’s have a toast for frontal rub-downs,
Let’s have a toast for Asian love spots,
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to the Bach Pad
That I really can’t wait for
Chris Harrison, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

Tags: bachelorette, celebs, realitytv, weird al

Are Athletes Not Enough for Gatorade?

I’m honestly not trying to drink the Hate-orade (I know too easy), but I really don’t understand this move. Why would Gatorade do this campaign? What was its objective? To gain urban credibility? To launch a new bottle with the Big “G”? Why does Pepsi Company just seem to think think a refresh is in order across the board? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for experimentation on the design and advertising tip. But I just don’t see this one at all. And that’s even as a big fan of the JabbaWockeeZ (big enough at least not to have to look it up to spell it) and spoken word poetry (on Saturday nights past you couldn’t find me at the club, you could find me watching Def Poetry Jam on HBO on my couch…I wasn’t a grouch/ I was awaiting De La Hoya / Because even though I’m an Irish Jew I look Latino / Ja Rule baby!). I put it out to Twitter and got pretty much all negativos:

Here’s the pillar spot, which incorporates athletes at least (and comments are split 50/50)…

And three others.

Tags: Add new tag, brands, celebs, gatorade

Getting Young Latinos to Vote

An example of how an organization targeted the Hispanic Youth market online.

I’ve been meaning to post this video (below) for a couple of weeks now since Gonzalo Perez of Motivo Insights showed it at an ESPN off-site. It’s been online since May, so I’m already late to this party. But isn’t that the Latino way! (Don’t worry that’s not whitey speaking out of turn; he and another speaker confirmed this was not just a stereotype that day.) Anyway, Voto Latino teamed up with Declare Yourself to get young (18-29) Latinos involved in the voting process (first and foremost, by getting them to register to vote). This, one in a series of videos, is the result:

“La Pasion De La Decision” definitely seems to resonate with the members of this audience, who embrace their hybrid Hispanic-American lives. They no doubt feel a connection to Telenovelas (whether they grew up with them or through their parents/grandparents) but likely think they are just as over the top as their non-Hispanic counterparts/friends. The message doesn’t get lost in the spoof, IMO, and benefits greatly from the story being played by Wilmer Valderrama (of whom, I’m an unashamed supporter) and Rosario Dawson (of whom, I’m certainly not ashamed fan). Also check out episode 3, for a cameo by Craigslists’ Craig Newmark.

Te sigo amando.

Tags: celebs, genY, latinos, videos

Inbox of Immaturity (2): My 100th Post

Well, it’s monumental for me, so keep it to yourself or I’ll go off like the Louis Vuitton Don. It’s only fitting that post numero one hundred is an Inbox of Immaturity post (even if I did have to EL fudge the formula (you like that?) to make it so. Saw this the other day on a site that I stumbled upon called thisisgoingtobebig through yobroitsmelitty, and from the moment this video started I knew it would be a gem (and perfect for this weeks IOI). Without further a do, enjoy “Internet People,” Internet people.

Update 1: My buddy Jake just posted a link (on our xanga board) to one of the most hardcore pranks I’ve ever seen in real life. Perfect for this post.

Update 2: Just realized Aki posted yesterday…so I’m late (he’s too quick). But gotta show him love anyway since if it wasn’t for him I probably would have started blogging a lot later too.

Tags: blogging, celebs, Friends, internet

Inbox of Immaturity

Back from Likemind this morn, I feel energized to get the IOI back in gear after missing last week.

It’s been a minute since I hit up this site for an image, so wanted to give some love.

Over one week later, peeps are still talking about Daft Punk, so I thought I’d hit you all off with the full version (it’s an MP3 file to download) of the Keyspan Park show and one of DP in Wisconsin in ‘96 sent over to me by Jimmy, who reports for Maxim and Blender.

Crazy Bruce’s Liquors has got nothing on Flea Market man – remember it’s just like a mini-mall. Nor can he compete with Crazy Eddie – the electronics store where the prices aren’t the only thing that’s insane.

The Japanese have a great video for potty training. We can also thank Tokyo (and Aki) for this Storm Trooper boogie.

Tracking studies are usually not this fun. Thrillist hit me off. Otherwise, you may want to go searching for the ladies – we know know these two were invited.

And finally, Tay Zonday is back and will apparently be opening for Girl Talk in Minneapolis on my bday (Oct. 5). Make sure you peep the John Mayer Remix he did for Best Week Ever and the Matt Damon nonsense with Jimmy Kimmel is quite funny as well.

Tags: celebs, ioi, viral