As you might imagine, I was excited to see my friend Sarah doing the same for her Bachelorette finale party last week. Unfortunately I missed the ideal window to post because I was moving. However, I figure it’s relevant enough today given the Bachelor Pad premiere tonight. Without further ado, here’s “Runaway (from Ashley)”:

(Set to Kanye West’s “Runaway”)

And I rarely find, yeah, I rarely find this much wrong
But JP’s been puttin’ up wit’ her laugh just way too long
With her it’s so easy to find what Ben wouldn’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for the midriff,
Let’s have a toast for that forehead,
Let’s have a toast for the short skirts,
Every one of them that she wears
Let’s have a toast to the perfaaaaact
That never stops hurting my brain
Chris Harrison, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

She find warnings in her emails
Money sent a picture of that d*ck.
I don’t know what it is with females
But Ashley’s not too good with that sh*t.
See, she could have a West or a Mickey
And still be addicted to them Bentleys
And I just blame everything on her
At least you know there’s nothing she’s good at

See, I rarely find and I rarely find
Yeah, I rarely find this much wrong
But we’ve been puttin’ up with her face just way too long
This season’s so easy to find what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for the black mask,
Let’s have a toast for Ry’s hand hearts,
Let’s have a toast for the Ames fans,
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to Constantine
Who wouldn’t even take that room key
ABC, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

R-r-ru-ru-ru-run away
Run away from Ashley

Always been such a TV romantic,
I just love the faux sense of intimacy.
And I know this girl’s done damage,
’cause the screech in her voice is killing me,
I guess we’ve got another advantage
’cause we could blame Brad for everything.
And I don’t know how I’m a manage,
If one day Ashley’s back on the screen…
Oh, I haven’t cared in so long
We been puttin’ up with the insecurity just way too long
With her it’s so easy to find what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for William to have a roast

Let’s have a toast for that long hair,
Let’s have a toast for frontal rub-downs,
Let’s have a toast for Asian love spots,
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to the Bach Pad
That I really can’t wait for
Chris Harrison, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

When I was growing up, I used to get so excited watch Cosmos with my father (amongst other things like Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes). Now I watch Jersey Shore and Project Runway. Whaaaaa happened? That’s going to take a bit more soul-searching than I’m prepared to do now. As a planner, I’ve certainly wielded a few of Sherlock’s great quotes to make a point, or explain what I do. Can I get a “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.” That’s not a question. So when I stumbled upon Cosmos’ “The Persistence of Memory” on the Science Channel my planner ears perked up… and my fingers got-a-typin’. Here are some Sagan sound-bytes for your mind (we still do alliteration like it’s nobody but our business)…and for external use at the risk of sounding like a jerk-off.

The units of biological evolution are genes. The units of cultural evolution are called ideas. Ideas have transported all over the planet. They reproduce through communications. They are selected by analysis and debate.

One thing will be clear about us: No one sends such a message on such a journey without a positive passion for the future.

I love this last one. I wish it was more true of our industry.

This could easily be a tweet, but I’ve elevated this discovery to blog status. Though, with over twice as many followers as subscribers, I’m not sure most would say I’m elevating it. Perhaps more accurately, I’m making the find less disposable and my excitement more apparent.

Anyway, I had a dream last night that I was on a game show. All I remembered of it was that I was running up a “mountain” of presents. Thank Go…Google, there’s, well, Google. Because after a few ambitious and unsuccessful searches like “game show, mountain of presents” (video games and Mountain Dew have it on lock) and “kids’ game shows mountain” (you know The Aggro Crag on GUTS is holding it down), I broadened out to “popular 80s game shows. And that’s where I hit the jackpot: BuzzSugar.

The show – I’m Telling. The mountain of toys – The Pick-A-Prize Arcade. The most famous people to play (as children) – Paul Walker (on a regular bro-sis show), Shannon Doherty (on a special celebrity show) and the Astin brothers (yes, brothers – see Rudy below).

I don’t really have a point to this story; I just got really nostalgic. And I kind of want to revive it. The Newlywed Game with siblings. There’s definitely still a market for it. Hit me up if agree.

Update: I told my family about this game show dream last night at Passover and before giving away any details (nothing about the mountain of toys or anything), my sister guessed that it was “I’m Telling.” Crazy. We totally should have been on this show.

I, like many planners, having been keeping track of and keeping my clients up-to-date on the content online that’s spreading across many people for a while now. It started years ago as a way to shift the conversation away from “We want the next Tea Partay” to “what’s right for us and our audience and what would they want to pass along” by providing examples with various levels of taste, humor, shock, etc. Plus, because the majority of “viral successes” come from individuals, it was helpful to start looking more closely at what companies were doing.

Read full article here

Fast forward to present. Thankfully we don’t get too many briefs with “viral” as a deliverable anymore. But for those who do, there’s been some great thinking about the problems with the term/request done by Faris, Bud, Paul and Ivan. However, I still do collect examples of (mostly) brands’ attempts to produce (mostly) video content to be passed around…and rack up that coveted 1 million YouTube views.

Since I had all these links in my delicious or email, I figured I’d put them all in one place and share them with you – just in case it’s useful in any way. Without further ado, the 2009 “viral” year in review:

Q1 kicked off with Mini has some fun with the “Is it fake?” theme of many viral videos. Geico feeds off the equity of the Numa Numa Guy to create a hit video (though other videos leveraging memes that they put on their YouTube channel “itsthegecko” had significantly less views). Nike had Taylor Momsen (from Gossip Girl) do some parkour to avoid the paparazzi. Ray Ban “Never Hide Films” (behind the catching sunglasses video which has over 4 million views) came back in early January with another video, which did not get quite the same response. Cadbury, on the other hand, came back strong (after the drum-playing gorilla) with “Eyebrow Dance” and got a lot of views.

Then, there were the commercials, which were heavily spread online like McDonald’s Fillet o’ Fish commercial, which has a techno song remix as well. Though, Pharrell trying to get the Mickey D’s in Paris airport gained more traction. Then, there were ones that just didn’t stir up the controversy they had hoped to, such as Domino’s CEO going hard at Subway.

After his death at the end of June, it was no surprise that Michael Jackson was all over the Internet. Millions of views for everything from this old Pepsi commercial to this Twitter mashup to the tribute by Philippines detention center inmates, who are more famous for their original Thriller performance.

Back to brands, Samsung put out this LED sheep thing which got tons of views. Then followed up with more crazy stuff at a trade show. I know it’s a TV campaign, but the geeks went gaga for this Intel work. And sticking with tech, peeps have been all about Xbox’s Project Natal and its first official look. T-Mobile is back (in the UK) with a follow-up to their train station dance, getting a crowd together to sing “Hey Jude”.

There’s what Nike did for Free And what FC Barcelona’s coach put together with Catalonian TV before playing Manchester United in the Champions’ League Final, which was inspired by this.

Remember the EA Sports response to Tiger Woods superfan and YouTube user? They tried to build off it (but less successfully) with this before the Open. And I think Gilette’s still sour that Philips had such a hit with their body groomer (“Shave Everywhere”) work a few year’s back and came out with this “manscaping” tip video. But that’s probably better than the Comfort Wipe infomercial out there and Burger King “Square Butts” (Sponge Bob + Sir Mix-a-lot) commercial, both of which have been racking up views online.

Of course you’ve seen “I’m on a Boat” by Lonely Island, but even better is this a Capella version. Plus, on the subject of singing (or lip-syncing in this case), here’s a kid who produces and broadcasts his talent from the Apple Store.

There’s the Kanye interrupting Obama mash-up and likely the most viral video as of the year (parodied on NBC’s The Office): “JK Wedding Dance“.

Nike, EA and RayBan returned with Skateboarding and Ice Cube, FIFA 2010 and a SxSW video respectively.

Discovery Channel launches a bunch of mini-clips for Shark Week. Disneyland brings us a magical (come on, don’t be a hater) proposal. Evian helps you feel young…with roller-skating babies. And MSI gives us “Guy catches laptop with his butt.”

United Airlines gets firsthand experience in the power of the customer and a PR nightmare when they broke a dude’s guitar. The Muppets sing Bohemian Rhapsody. There’s a Christmas Light Hero and a Gap commercial tribute.

Over the holidays, we had the option to stay warm by the fire or with your Weezer Snuggie. But, as NYC Health advises, stay away from the soda (WARNING: KINDA GROSS). And if we ventured out, we could have brought some money for the Salvation Army and ImprovEverywhere. While brands were not pumping out as much online video content as in past quarters, there was this nice set of videos for Google Chrome.

And there you have it. Say goodbye to 2009 (again)..and (now) to “viral.”

Other Seth (Gray), I fully expect a comment here.

Here’s the pillar spot, which incorporates athletes at least (and comments are split 50/50)…

And three others.

This video makes me want to start the Inbox of Immaturity back up again. Last night’s SNL was solid on the whole with John Malkovich as host. The Huffington Post has a handful of the best stuff, but this is the one that people will no doubt be looking for on a Lazy Sunday. (See what I did there.) It’s unfortunate that the title of this short is visible because part of its hilariousness is in the shock value. However, I won’t spoil any more surprises like cameos. Oh, just watch already:

Also, I know the sponsor of SNL’s videos change, but I have to mention when I grabbed this one’s embed code of this “Extra Fruit Sensations” gum. Amazing.

Here’s an interesting idea that seemed worth a post rather than just a delicious bookmark. Seth Godin is offering an alternative to Business School – spend 6 months in his office. It’s an “apprenticeship/not-internship/graduate school/charm school track-changing opportunity.” Yes, apprenticeship slash grad school…and not the other way around. And yes, that Zoolander reference probably wouldn’t fly in an application to his program or any of the prestigious universities from which he may steal talent. More probable than getting the MBA-seeking to reconsider, he’s created something motivating for the entrepreneurial path-changer. The idea is great, the timing is even better, and the price is best—it’s free. If I hadn’t found something real and if I wasn’t so into keeping it real here at W+K NY, I’d definitely give it some serious consideration.

UPDATE: My buddy, who is likely headed to a top ranked business school next Fall, passed on this site to get prospective B-schoolers take on Other Seth’s offer. Also, note to planners, the Business Week Business School forums are usually filled with great opinions, emotion, and insight. Last note, my friend did not want a “shout-out” on the blog because he’s “trying to stay as much under the radar online as possible until this whole silly business school process is over…interviews and such.” Now there’s a new, FREE perspective for us bloggers.

So you won’t be surprised that after last week’s historic election, I found two examples of crazy quick turnarounds particularly sweet.

First, after returning from hologram world (CNN’s set), will.i.am released this video the day after the election:

Second, the guys and gals over at South Park were completely topical with this episode, which aired less than a week after the election. From the article:

…their production team redefined the concept of timely scripted television entertainment. Talk about a turnaround! Even if Parker and Stone produced much of it in advance, the episode didn’t just acknowledge President-elect Barack Obama’s momentous win – it included specific references to Election Night, among them Obama’s destined to be historic acceptance speech.

Now the questions are around the effectiveness of producing and launching these fast-to-market (-media) content. For example, many are wondering: How fast will it be forgotten?

Clay + Kevin + the rest of the Hustlewood team have been working their butts off, Giorgio (can’t resist the Zoolander reference) and have managed to get a site up and running (can’t resist the pun) in less than ten days. We’re still revising it and will likely continue to do so over the next week (if not more) as we learn what’s working and discover opportunities to enhance the experience. What that means is making the idea and call to action more clear and compelling, the blog portion more interesting and useful, and the pieces (Twitter, Flickr, Facebook NYC & CHI, etc.) work more seamlessly and effectively together.

As I said in my last post, we’re trying to be as transparent and inclusive in building this idea (and we hope, movement) as possible. We’re using our blogs and now the blog on obamabaton.com to do so. (Please comment over there with any Obama Baton-specific thoughts you have.) And we’re learning quite a bit along the way. But we’ve still got a long way to go—a couple of marathons at least—before Barack wins on November 4th. So please visit the site, show your support, and Pass It On.

Quick shout-out to the Real World Hollywood crew for becoming friends even without being polite…and in the process putting on quite a show. (Yes, all 9 of you.) Half shout-out to Jesse (or as I like to call him, Travis from Clueless), who was able to make friends and win DeAnna’s hand in marriage on this season of The Bachelorette. Zero shout-out to Kristy for making friends but then deciding she didn’t like winning Tila’s heart.

That was therapeutic. Please be my friend.

How do people enjoy watching cars go around and around in a circle?

Well, given it’s part of my job to understand not just the rules of NASCAR but also the fans, I spent a significant part of my yesterday (over 5 hours all in – including pre-race and a bit of post) watching the Super Bowl of the sport, The Daytona 500. (Yes, it is unlike any sport I can think of in that it starts out with its biggest event.) I watched with a couple of work friends—one in particular (Michael) who is an avid fan of racing and driver Jeff Gordon and thus was able to answer all my stupid questions.

If you have any interest in learning a bit about NASCAR and what my viewing experience was like, check out my twitter. Go back a couple of pages to see the start (picking up Bud heavy). Overall, I had a great time—as noted by Mike, “the beer helps”—though I don’t think I’d have the stamina (read as: time) to watch all 200 laps in the future. Hopefully I’ll get to attend one of the other Sprint Cup races in person this year. I hear that helps you more fully appreciate NASCAR. Until the next race, I’ll be looking for some Target car #41 gear!

Now having been able to re-watch last night’s ads, read some reviews, engage in (limited) conversations, and most importantly awaken from my food+beverage coma, I will report on the day after. Firstly, you may have noticed that above I said convos were limited. Surprisingly, few people at the advertising agency were talking about the commercials today. There were a few mentions of the Coca-Cola work (which I should have mentioned we do here at Wieden in the last post) as well as a bit of debate on the CareerBuilder stuff, which our Portland office does too. As much as I’d like to delve into that one alone, I’m going to hold my tongue as a relatively new guy because I don’t want to be forced to use CB! (I will say that the site is more interesting and would be interested to hear your take on the 4 spots. Do you think the right two were selected?)

Anyway, we weren’t talking about the ads. We were talking about the game. Yes, living in New York had a big impact; however, we’re still at an ad agency (with spots in the game). So if we were talking about the Giants and Patriots in this creative space, it’s probably a safe bet that the cooler talk elsewhere was less about the commercials this year. The point: Context matters. Because the game was actually really good, the spots got less of the spotlight.

Context also matters for each individual viewer. What the previous post should show is how personal reactions can be. Two of the most memorable spots for me (the two about which I chose to blog) were too of the least talked about spots this year. Not particularly positive or negative reactions. A look at the more quantitative measures (the ad polls) shows a variety of results. They are, however, consistent in the number one: Dalmatian training a Clydesdale for Budweiser.

Yet this point should not discount the group setting in which most Super Bowl viewing takes place, and the (not always explicit or obvious) impact that has on each ad’s likability. Groups tend to reach a sort of consensus. Think about your reviews today. Was there any ad you had a change of heart on? (Heart stays in body with change.) Even if you held the minority opinion in the living room, you can start fresh with the consensus viewpoint and have a better chance of having something in common/avoiding a debate today. I’m sure you’re not that easily swayed and you have a spine (just not a heart—check your boss’ office); I’m just suggesting it’s possible you left the party thinking that Life Water wasted its money because Naomi is the worst even if you thought lizards dancing to Thriller was pretty cute.

But the most interesting thing I saw today has to be this advertising review by the Miller High Life guy. He definitely tells it like it is and is more truly the voice of the average viewer.

Crazy props on the turnaround time. If Saatchi & Saatchi did create it, though, it’s a little sneaky (read as: wack) to hype its own Tide spot.

In case you missed them and want to find your gems, you can watch them on MySpace. These are not my favorite commercials, but certainly the two standout moments…

The first is the Gatorade ad, “Man’s Best Friend.” I know from my work with Purina that the more frames showing a happy dog, the better. Yet, I connected to it because of the striking resemblance of the black lab to my family’s, Zeus (that’s his name).

The second moment was fulfilling because I was the first person to remember “where is that guy from?” in the Amp Energy commercial. Your turn to try (if you haven’t already).

Yes, you guessed it. Right? It’s Donkeylips (confirmed by Michael Bower Wiki entry) from Nickelodeon’s Salute Your Shorts. Amazing show, and really the only thing that made this commercial bearable.

It’s late and I’m too tired to go spot by spot, but quickly I thought Coke was unsurprisingly solid, E*Trade surprisingly good, and most of the rest forgettable.

And lastly, may as well remind you all here that the season Finale for A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila is Tuesday night at 10PM. There’s a show that will certainly help make the point of the video above. We all need those writers back working.

Whatever the case, sometimes when these three things—advertising, music, and sports—come together something special happens. When watching some uploaded amateur videos from (my alma mater) Georgetown’s Midnight Madness, I came across this one below (introducing our center, Roy Hibbert). I couldn’t help but thank advertising for making it possible.

No, not for making Roy’s return to G-town possible (he came back for his final year even though he could have possibly been a lottery pick in the NBA this summer – you can see in the jumping around in the stands how much he loves being in college). Rather for giving students and all our fans the ammo/inspiration to show their appreciation, enthusiasm, and love together, chanting, “Roy, Roy, Roy, Roy…” Because without advertising, bringing Roy out to the Eye of the Tiger would not have never happened.

The video does also seem to make a compelling case for regular-people-made-ads. I mean, you put a swoosh at that end of this footage, and I’m sold – on my way out to cop some new Nike kicks.

I came across this link from Russell Davies’ delicious feeds. The choose to use design to solve the problem of remotes getting lost. So they made a remote that’s really fragile, so you won’t toss it around/you’ll take better care of it and thus not lose it. The brief could easily have been: Remotes ruin the living room look.

It reminds me of Method’s insight into cleaning: People squeeze cleaning in between doing other things, so having to go into cabinets and search for cleaning products wastes time and is a part of the annoying process. So they designed their soaps, etc. to look nice so that people would keep them on their kitchen counters/out next to their sinks. Just a reminder of how design is a powerful tool for building insight in products.

Vegas may have been a little too much of a distraction for organizers and artists because from the very start, it can only be described as a trainwreck. (And even if that’s an unoriginal description, I promise you it’s accurate.) I will not spend time talking about the disappointment that was Britney’s performance. Watch it here – before lunch if you’re smart. It really should have been show-stopping.

She was followed up by an awkward Sarah Silverman, of whom I’m a huge fan and who may have been creating this uneasiness as a genius comic device – but other than a few sweet zingers (“if Amy Winehouse isn’t Jewish, someone should tell her face” and “isn’t it so cute how 50 Cent is still alive”) it was really an uncomfortable two minutes (feeling like 10).

Then other than a pretty ridiculous (in a good way) performance by Chris Brown, I don’t really know what happened. And I didn’t black out. The presenters seemed equally confused. Fergie wasn’t there to receive the Best Female award and Shilostache La Buff thought Ludacris was going to come up and accept it for her – which seems insane given the category even if he was responsible for the verse that was responsible for getting anyone to fork over 99 cents for Fergalicious.

Honestly, I really don’t know who won anything other than the guys with eye liner in the Friends and Enemies suite. Timbaland’s really the only dude who has his shit together, so maybe he should be called The Maestro. Peep the Twittering I did last night of some of the most noteworthy occurences. And note, none of them had to do with category winners. Of course, MTV “knows” that people tune in for the celebrity drama, fashion, lifestyle. But maybe it’s time to rethink that because even if setting Britney up for failure was the “buzz-building” idea all along, they may lose their audience (as well as artist support). (Though there’s no substitute for hearing JT say play more damn videos while on stage with The Hills girls.)

Kanye’s complaining of course that he didn’t win anything or get to perform on the main stage, but he really should be happy he didn’t have any part in the “main” production. The suite shows were the only source of originality and slightly interesting and lively musical excitement. Now I can focus my attention on a truely intelligent marketing scheme…Kanye vs. 50, and tomorrow’s release of both their albums. A rivalry which hopefully won’t get violent like this one, which I’m calling Rocklee 2.

Greg Giraldo killed it.
(Hurry up and watch before Comedy Central snags it back.)

Anyway, I have to say I really enjoyed it. I also have to wonder if media planners could account for the fact that this same dude (and potential target) was going to watch the U.S. Open but in looking for USA channel went through programming lists and saw this and decided to just assume that Roddick would win.

Some random observations:
-Roasting of Flav = Roasting of everyone on Stage. While it is standard proceedure to stick it to everyone in the spotlight, the roasters spent very little time on Flava Flav. I was wondering if it’s because they didn’t know him that well (enought to make jokes or predict his reactions) or didn’t think he deserved to really be roasted.
-Though there is certainly a bit of Roasted by association. Every Brigitte Nielsen zinger was an “oh, snap!” moment where you’d divert your attention and embarrassment to Flav. Problem was, then you were embarrassed for him and a bit grossed out in general and then looked at Carrot Top, who just confused you and so you’d find safe haven in Patton Oswalt but would try and remember his name and get embarrassed and annoyed, so would look to Ice Tea who frightened you a bit,
-Also got me thinking about who is the best type of person to roast? Past roastees include Pam Anderson, Denis Leary, and Jeff Foxworthy. This one was my favorite because of the random assembly of comics, the inability to identify with Flav in any way, and also how he became an empathetic character but you never felt so sorry for him that the jokes crossed the line (the way you did with Denis Leary who, while he’s a comedian so should be more able to take it, has real problems).
-That made me think about how “It’s funny because it’s true” is a weird statement. So is it’s sad because it’s true.
-Regardless of what you think of him, you cannot deny that Flav has a great sense of humor. Or at the very least likes to laugh.
-And finally, execution matters as much as or more than strategy. While many of the Comedian-roasters chose the same key areas to make their jokes—Flav’s darkness and nastiness, Lisa L.’s love of black men, Jimmy Kimmel’s luck, Kat Williams’ height, Carrot Top’s lack of talent, Brigitte N.’s amazonian manliness, Snoop’s love of the sticky-icky, and Ice Tea’s age, etc.—only some connected. This was based on creativity and timing (not just comic, but when you went in order of comedians). That said, I was impressed how many ways they could insult Brigette’s manliness but the seemed to have difficulties finding new, funny ways to joke about Snoop’s smoking habit. All in all, if you like the clip above, you may want to peep the rest on repeat.