El Gaffney

Dear Recruiters

If you’re calling or emailing me about a job and you don’t mention the password, “SWEATER!”, then don’t expect me to return your message.

I do not want to seem ungrateful, especially in this tough time. I feel fortunate to have attracted your interest. I appreciate that you (at least a one or two of you) want to understand my needs first - before telling me about the search you’re conducting for “award-winning agency with blue-chip clients.” And I even appreciate that you’re being upfront about “finding me on LinkedIn.”

It’s just that doing a search for planners/strategists on LinkedIn and blanketing us with half-assed “this could be a great opportunity for you…or if not, can your recommend a friend or colleague” messages, is lazy and insincere. Yes, I’m easy to find, and I don’t want to change that - though if you had checked a little farther down the page, I’m not open to being contacted about career opportunities or job inquiries. But I’m also pretty easy to find things out about, including hopefully (for you) a connection to make the introduction. While you weren’t looking at my contact preferences, you also seemed to miss the link to My Blog (that’s here). Admittedly it ain’t the most professional place; yet, you can learn more about me/how I write/what I think about/etc. than on that template page that you didn’t even bother really reading anyway.

Unlike Chris Mortensen, I don’t feel like it’s a privilege to chat with me. However, I do expect some level of working for it. I do expect you to care enough about knowing with whom you’re about to make unsolicited contact to do a little bit of research. Shit, this blog is the first result for a Google search of my name. I do more digging about people I may end up meeting through friends that than you have for a person you’re about to ask to consider making a major life change. Sure, maybe I’m a little weird but that’s just weak sauce.

In case you are wondering, I’m not looking for a new gig. I know, you “don’t care” since it’s about my future career path and potential. Sarcasm aside, I’ve worked with recruiters in the past and had fantastic experiences. I understand this may be a difficult time for you. But I do not believe desperate times call for desperate measures. I even hear what Paul is saying in his recent article in AdAge, “What to Do When a Headhunter Calls,” about recruiters vs. ’senders.’

But in response to his advice (and final sentence), “Answer the phone”…

Sure. Now, what’s the password?

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Eliminated passwords/passphrases:
- “Plethora”: It’s not inconceivable that you would start the conversation off by telling me about the plethora of opportunities you have available.
- “My Little Buttercup” (or “Rrrrraped de horses”): I’m not looking for a lawsuit.
- “Invisible Swordsman”: No fun, and I thought this (below) was a little too complicated…

Tags: jobs, movies, threeamigos

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